


A Wolf at the Door

by Lunarflare14



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Abandonment, Anger, Children, Depression, F/M, Illnesses, Postpartum Depression, Prayer, Resentment, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 02:37:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3471224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunarflare14/pseuds/Lunarflare14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Childbirth was hard for the Inquisitor. It almost killed her and her child. For nearly a month after, they fight their ailments together. And Gierra still can't think of a proper name for the lad. One night her prayers are answered, but not by who she expects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Wolf at the Door

 

The full moon hung high as Gierra laid in her bed, cradling her baby in her arms. He was a small, sickly thing and she was fairing no better. It had been a month, and they were both only getting weaker. Even her own magic was failing her. Dorian, Vivienne, Fiona, and all the other healers had tried to help and failed.

The Inquisitor didn’t blame them, it was her own fault. Something in her was broken, it was up to her to fix it. She thought the baby would distract her, but he has his father’s ears and blue eyes, like stormy seas.

Her body was so weak, when once it had been strong.  Dorian had taken up as her primary care giver, putting off his return to Tevintar for even longer.

“I could not leave knowing the state you’re in, carus. We almost lost you, and cannot leave til I know the danger has passed,” he had replied when she’d asked.

She was being such a burden, yet she couldn’t bring herself to leave her bed, or eat as she should. How was her baby supposed to get stronger if she didn’t eat? She hugged him closer.

“I am failing you, ma lath.” She kissed his forehead as she began to cry once again. “I’m failing everyone.”

She kept telling herself to get up. Get out of bed. Get dressed. She was stronger than this once. She knew who she was, where she came from. She knew who her gods were. Now she was so unsure and her bare face brought her shame. She wished she’d never let him take them from her. Whatever they meant before, they had meant so much to her. But now the gods did not seem so everlasting and powerful, having seen one and heard her tale.

Mythal was flesh and blood and it left her in awe and in crisis.

And now he boy was fading. There was nothing more the healers could do but wait.

She closed her eyes and prayed to anyone who would listen. She prayed to her gods, to Mythal, to the Maker, to Andraste, even to the Dread Wolf. Anyone who would save her child. It had been a long time since she had, but she did now. One last desperate plea into the night. “He is my light, my hope, my joy. All that remains of who I was. Who I wish to be again. Let me take his place. Please. Don’t take my boy.”

There was a light thump noise from the balcony and she jumped a little. A dark figure came into the shadow of her room, remaining faceless. She held her son closer and sat up. There was still a little ironbark in her spine yet. “Show yourself.”

When the intruder emerged into the light from her window she gasped. His hair was longer but those eyes, they haunted her steps every day. She could never forget them. Over his usual clothes he wore a dark cloak lined with black fur.

“ _You_.” She gently set down her babe and stood for the first time in weeks, not even wavering as the muscles in her legs ached. Storming forward she reached for the staff at the foot of her bed. “What the hell are you doing in my chambers? Sense a disturbance in the veil? Did a spirit come to you with news of the Inquisitor’s pathetic state? Just fancied checking in after months of no word?”

Solas opened his mouth to answer but closed it. “I… I heard you.” He glanced between her and the bundle on the bed. “Didn’t take long to replace me, did you? I’m glad.”

She lowered her staff in confusion before raising it again. “So that’s what you think of me? You think my heart so fickle? Well, that is just fine. You showed how much I meant to you when you left without even telling me.”

He cocked his head to the side and eyed her. “You’re not well.”

It was then her arms started to shake. “Don’t act like you give a damn about me.”

“You weren’t praying for yourself though. You prayed for the child.”

She lowered her staff and leaned on it. “It was hard on us both. The healers say he should be dead, I shouldn’t be able to walk. Yet here we are. No thanks to you.”

“You have a right to be angry.”

She laughed. It had been so long since she laughed. She called over her shoulder to her baby. “Did you hear that, my dear one? I have a right to be angry.” When she looked back at Solas he was clearly not amused. “I should have you tried for treason if I thought we could hold you. A simple apostate. Ha! I’ve had time to think it over. You knew the orbs origin. You knew how to close the breach. You knew far too much for a simple apostate that just wanted to help.” She stared him dead in the eyes. “I have a notion the entire thing was you’re doing. Your obsession with the Fade. Of course, you’d want to go there in person and when the orb broke and the mark faded? You ran like the coward you are.”

Suddenly Solas was in her face and spoke with a force beyond what should be possible for any mortal being. “You will not speak to me like that.”

“You _abandoned_ me.” She seethed, through gritted teeth. Under her anger her magic, til then dormant and useless, flared to life in her veins. “You lied to me. You left me. You broke my heart. And for what? Your precious Fade? The Fade is not for us. It is for the gods and for spirits and no one more.”

Solas suddenly stepped back looking caught and something clicked in her mind.

“You’re… no, you can’t be.” Fresh tears sprung to her eyes. “Are you… your like Mythal, aren’t you? The orb was yours. Your… foci.” Solas looked like he wanted to run. Trapped. Rage snowballed inside her and she slammed the end of her staff into the ground as wards shot up around them. “Which one of my so-called _gods_ are you then? The Keeper of Secrets? Friend of the Dead? The All-Father? Which of my absent deities has graced me with his presence this evening?”

The fear became a smile, cool and charming as ever. “They never expect it when I show up. They call out to the night for someone to answer but they do not think I will come.” The air around them shifted and every one of her hairs stood on end. “I have been using this time to build up my strength once again. I slept so long, it is good to have power again.” His eyes glowed from within like a beast’s in the night.

She gasped backing away. “No.”

“I’m afraid so, ma vhenan.”

“Don’t you call me that.”

Solas’ light subsided and he sighed. “I never stopped loving you.”

But all Gierra could do was back up to the bed and pick up her child. “You will not have him. I’d rather we both die before you steal him away from me.”

“What would I do with your infant? Eat him? I am not Fereldan’s Big Bad Wolf.”

She held her babe closer. “Then you truly do not know.”

“Know what?”

And again, she shed tears. Why could she not stop crying? What had become of her? “You’re a fool. An utter fool.” Looking down at her little one, she smiled through her tears. “Can you heal him?”

“I can heal you both. Very little is not within my power now.”

She steeled herself and straightened, coming forward cautiously. “You will heal us. That is all.”

Solas nodded and held his arms so that she would pass him the infant. She did so, cautiously waiting as Solas looked the child over. He waved his hand, much like he had when he removed her marks. The babe glowed softly. Then Solas touched her cheek and she felt life rekindle in her. Both their lights faded and the little one opened his tiny blue eyes, smiling up at the elf that held him. It was like the little one knew. Solas stared down into those eyes and she watched understand dawn in them.

“Fenlen. That will be his name.” She then took the baby from him.

“I didn’t… Oh ma lath, I did not know.” With that he fell to his knees. He said no more. Just shook at her feet as if the world were coming apart.

"You look silly, shaking on the floor like that." she tried. But he remained where he was, ever the dramatic.

“Whatever you wish I will do it. I will leave and never return. Whatever I can do to cause you no further pain.”

Looking down at him as he said his plea her, she realized he was telling the truth, perhaps for the first time. Her heart, hardened by anger and hate, softened. “First, there is something I want from you.” She knelt facing him, coming down to meet his eyes. “I want the truth, _Dread Wolf_. We will start there, alright? I will decide after what more you can do.” He nodded. "But I will remind you of this. I do not need another follower, nor a god to shield me. I need a man who will be by my side. Am I clear?" 

He nodded again as his eyes swelled with tears. He reached for her cheek once again, and she knew she was lost. He did not deserve her forgiveness. Yet, her heart gave it willingly.

**Author's Note:**

> Basically I wrote my inquisitor a happy ending because my headcanon ending was kind of sad.


End file.
